On my very first day at Bowdoin, snuggled in to my sleeping bag at Farley Field House, I was given some insight that has shaped my entire Bowdoin career. When asked what the dating scene was like at Bowdoin, my female trip leader gave a sarcastic, mildly unattractive snort and answered, "What dating scene?" She then described the two kinds of people on this campus: the serial bed hoppers and the couples who fell in love over a bag of trail mix as soon as their van to Mt. Katahdin left the parking lot.
Indeed, it seemed that at Bowdoin, your only choices were either a never-ending cycle of sweaty dances in poorly lit basements and unfamiliar futons, or a never-ending relationship. Period.
As a senior looking back on all this, I have to admit that there is a fair amount of both the random hook-ups and the couples that have pretty much already said their "I Do's." But I wouldn't give a first-year student the gloomy dating forecast that my pre-O leader gave me. I would argue that we simply need to expand our definition of what a "date" really is.
For instance, I doubt anybody would argue that going to Starfish Grill in crisp collared shirts and pearls is anything other than a bona fide date. There's wine if you're 21 or resemble someone who is, there's seafood if you're not allergic, and there's a solid chunk of your summer savings that you will never see again. It's all very romantic, very grown-up and potentially very dangerous.
Instead of wasting money, an Epi-pen, or a perfectly good fake ID, how about a simple Thorne dinner date? While perhaps not as intimate or extravagant as the lobster paella for two, Thorne can provide a gentler transition from the world of "me" to the world of "we."
Sometimes all it takes is a hearty helping of chicken parmesan and an innuendo-laden trip to the sundae bar to get your foot in the door and that whipped cream somewhere other than underneath your cherry.
Or, if the whole dining hall scene isn't your thing, how about a spur of the moment trip to the convenience store in the midst of a particularly grueling Math 060 problem set? This one-on-one stroll to the Union is an admittedly subtle but clearly defined effort to spend some alone time together. Bonus points if he uses his Polar Points to purchase your Diet Coke and string cheese.
However, if you find yourself constantly worrying about food in your teeth, there's always the standard movie date to fall back on. Hoyt's is only a hop, skip, and a $9 cab ride away. Nothing says love like the 9:50 showing of that exorcism movie whose mere trailer renders us all sleepless on a daily basis, yet for some God forsaken reason is rated PG-13. There's the hand holding, the overdramatic gasp-and-grab we women are known for, and the undying hope that at the end of the night she'll be too scared to sleep alone.
If you're not in to the whole devil possession thing, however, there are some other options. Go to Common Hour together, or take in one of the Bowdoin Film Society's selections for free, no cab ride necessary. A simple cup of coffee at the Café in the Union can be very romantic, and the cookies are almost as delicious as a goodnight kiss beneath the stain on the polar bear sculpture outside.
Or, if you actually enjoy physical activity, take a stroll around the Quad. Who knows? You might even have the opportunity for some not-so-innocent physical contact when you have to pull her away from the edge of one of those terrifyingly deep holes in front of the art museum.
And for those of you who honestly believe that you look your best after two keg stands and a brief, blurry, squinty-eyed look in a mold-encrusted mirror, why not stay late at a party? Nothing sets the mood like a 3 a.m. PBR amidst a sea of spilled beer and a smattering of other potential couples suggestively tugging one another towards the door.
Regardless of the time or place, it's time to start seeing these happenstance one-on-one moments for what they are: a chance to talk, to get to know one another, and to swing by the Polar Express for a late night can of Rediwhip.