There’s a lot of talk about the gym at Bowdoin. About making ourselves go, how much we lifted, how bros don’t let bros skip leg day. How we can eat this slice of Tollhouse pie because we worked out for half an hour this morning. There’s a lot of worry about the gym. Will the guy next to me on the stationary bike judge me for going more slowly than he is? Will people stare at my butt if I wear these leggings? Am I allowed to go to the bottom level or is it reserved for big dudes with Gatorade water bottles?

We ritualize the gym—or more precisely, how we interact with the space. To whatever extent we are aware of them, our decisions about the gym are calculated. We choose when we go, who—if anyone—we go with, what we wear and what we do there. We feel on display in the gym. We compare ourselves to our peers in the gym. Sometimes the gym can serve as a magnifying glass to point out those physical attributes we most dislike about ourselves. It takes our fears about appearing unglamorous and incompetent and thrusts them into public view, in a tight space. It’s a stressful kind of intimacy.

We went to the gym at 4 p.m. on a Tuesday. Neither of us had been all year. Which is not to say that we are fully stationary beings: Carly plays on the women’s ultimate frisbee team and Tessa enjoys long strolls (NARP). We at least hoped to avoid the gym before the ground froze over, but alas, duty calls.

This idea has been a long time in the making. Carly suggested the gym plan day one of this semester, and Tessa was physically repulsed. In the minutes leading up to our gym excursion, she frantically texted Carly: 

“Literally what do I wear?”

“I’m gonna wear tennis shoes and leggings and a t-shirt.”

“Relax dude.”

“Solidarity.”

“Yay.”

“See you shortly.”

In retrospect, it’s striking that Tessa felt the need to ask for advice. Shouldn’t everyone feel like they can go to the gym on their own terms, without anxiety about feeling out of place?
We started off easy, on the main level. Carly showed Tessa how to use a foam roller. Needless to say, her quads loved it. Amidst our stretch-n-gossip session, we ran into the issue of interacting with people we know in the gym setting. Everyone is in his or her zone, or is trying to be—there are a lot of earbuds and intentional perspiration. Navigating social boundaries feels different.

We ventured downstairs. What we expected to be a roiling, subterranean grunt-fest was in fact a gleaming facility filled with dazzling amenities. The kettle bells had names like “Elegance” and “Pride.” There was a helpful infographic detailing where we could appropriately spit, or not spit (spoiler alert: the recycling bin is not a proper spit receptacle). Rather than the expected, intimidating pump-up music, we were met by some welcoming 80’s female rock tunes. 

We should acknowledge here that the lower level was pretty empty. We felt free to putz around, making multiple laps of the space. We picked up some things, we poked at others. We did not have an exercise agenda, and we did not push our physical limits. What was important to us was entering this space that felt foreign and stigmatized. 

On the whole, we enjoyed our little jaunt in the gym. Tessa confirmed that she could do at least one single pushup. Carly tested the waters of a career in personal training. Honestly, though, it was anticlimactic. Coming in with our peers’ stories of weird gym experiences, we expected a cringeworthy afternoon. A lot of factors contributed to our having a good time: the gym was quiet, we were there together and we had no specific goals in mind. If any of these factors had been different, we probably would not have had as much fun.