I’m at the point in my college career where everything seems to move much faster than I can keep up with. Some of my lucky peers have job offers, I’ve started to think about my last semester of classes, and my personal life has gone through a mesmerizing collection of shifts. Each day is filled up with activity from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep, leaving no room to think about anything. No room to just sit and process.
Unsurprisingly, I couldn’t wait for Fall Break. I would finally have a few days to just contemplate the big questions, like what the hell I’m supposed to do when I get out of here. (By the way, I still don’t have a clue.) Somehow, I found myself meeting up with five different friends in four days. When I wasn’t with friends, I was with my parents. The only alone time I had was a couple of subway rides and weird existential experiences with my bathroom mirror. Besides the usual senior year anxiety, I had two serious personal issues occur during my time at home. Yet I barely had a minute to just feel them out. I found myself forcing friendly conversations and trying to act like my usual self, but it was extremely hard to act like my usual self when so many things about my usual self were shifting. What resulted was just a lot of pent-up surplus anxiety.
The debilitating speed and frenzy of life is something I think a lot of my peers struggle with. Our culture encourages us to be constantly occupied and productive, because that is how we gain and exhibit success. However, I believe this constant activity has conditioned us into a state of mental laziness. This state has made us afraid of our own thoughts and realities.
This summer, I started meditating on a daily basis. It has been a really life-changing experience for me—it has encouraged me to carry on mindfulness and calmness into my daily life. Naturally, I wanted to encourage everyone I cared about to try it out. I believe everyone has the capacity to benefit from some form of meditation. But I was met with two sorts of responses from most of the people I introduced the idea to. Either people didn’t want to be alone with their thoughts, or they couldn’t imagine a scenario when they weren’t actively thinking. These responses represent two extreme mindsets that we should avoid.
In my experience, meditation does not involve the absence of thought; it is the process of acknowledging thoughts and letting them pass, without judgment. This is not something that comes naturally to most of us. What usually happens is we think about something and let it spiral into something far away from the original thought. We create a completely different reality in our thoughts. Therefore, when we meditate we let our thoughts occupy our mind in a lighter way. We are not thoughtless, and neither are we drained by our thoughts.
There are many reasons why someone might be afraid of confronting their thoughts, but the importance of this confrontation trumps the comfort of avoidance. When we confront our thoughts, we are making an active effort to understand our reality and to come to terms with that reality. If we live in constant activity, confronting our thoughts is a luxury we don’t often have. There is nothing inherently wrong with having or wanting a busy lifestyle, but we should always leave room for thoughtfulness. If we are not thoughtful about our activity, how will we ever understand or appreciate it?
On the other hand, there is something to be said for letting your thoughts go. I often find that when I dwell on something, I end up stressing myself out with the same circular thought process: somehow I always end up where I started. Instead of running through different possibilities in my head and fixating on the past, sometimes it is better to relax and focus on your present state. If you are sad about something, slow down and let yourself be sad. If you are nervous, slow down and acknowledge your nerves. If you are surprised by something, slow down and let the surprise settle in. Instead of dwelling on the why of every situation and emotion, allow yourself to feel it. And then allow yourself to move on. Do both things without judgment.
Take this as a friendly reminder: slow down. Be kind to yourself and confront your situation in a thoughtful way. Even taking ten minutes to do this each day can change the way you approach everything else in your life. If you don’t have ten minutes, shift things around and give yourself ten minutes of non-activity to be alone with yourself. Maybe you will find the answer you’ve been looking for, or maybe you will realize that there is no one answer, and you will learn to be okay with that.