Since I first stepped on Bowdoin's campus, I’ve repeatedly heard the phrase, “We don’t say that at Bowdoin.” It still makes me cringe. I was encouraged by ResLife during my sophomore year as an RA to use it if someone said something offensive and I wanted them to stop, but I could never bring myself to do it. Although this phrase might have been created and repeated by well-intentioned people, it is damaging to Bowdoin and the society that we are a part of. This phrase is used to manipulate people into not using certain words by making them feel like they're not part of the Bowdoin community if they use them. 

When we use this approach, we miss the point. Not using certain words because “we don’t say that at Bowdoin,” or because it can hurt someone’s feelings or because it is not PC is not the approach to language we need. Bowdoin students are capable of much more. Instead, we need to look deeper and question why we use these words and what harmful ideas can be reflected and reproduced through our language.

The social censorship that lacks any type of deeper questioning has several problems and helps explain why we still have people on this campus who anonymously write and say outright racist things. Let me be clear: I am not saying that people at Bowdoin should use racist, sexist, or homophobic words. I am saying that we need to delve deeper into the meaning of these words and the unequal power structures these words reflect so we can start to put an end to them.
 
Telling people not to use certain language because it might hurt other people’s feelings is problematic. First, it places the blame on the person who is doing the “feeling.” Second, it individualizes what is in reality a systemic issue. And frankly, it just doesn't work. By focusing so much on the feelings of the people who are hurt, Bowdoin is focusing less on the people who said it and on why they said it. 

Why is there racist, sexist, and homophobic language present on our campus? What does it show about us as a community? These are harder questions to grapple with and aren’t usually addressed because there’s the assumption that there is no racism, sexism or homophobia on campus. It would be scary to admit that these are real issues on our campus, and it would also be harder to deal with. How do we address these issues? I hope that there can be a better way than to just cover them up. 

The “we don’t say that at Bowdoin” strategy does not adequately ensure that the people who say something offensive won't do it again. Why? Because they didn't get it. The only part they understood is that they shouldn't say X word because it offends Y. Or they shouldn’t say it at Bowdoin. So what will happen once they're away from the person who is offended or away from Bowdoin? They will probably say X word again because they only learned it was unacceptable in one specific instance. They got no deeper reason not to do it and their thinking didn’t change.

What am I suggesting? If you feel the urge to use offensive language don't stop yourself simply because it's not what's done at Bowdoin, because another person will be hurt, or because it's the PC thing to do and the PC police might be around. Stop yourself because you understand what harmful structures your language reinforces. If you don’t understand it initially, don’t freak out or victimize yourself because someone is challenging the language you use. 

My best friend (who happens to be a man) called me out the other day for using a phrase that reflected a very sexist attitude, and initially I felt defensive. I felt that as a woman and a gender and women’s studies major I shouldn’t need anybody to correct my language or point at problematic attitudes it reflected. What problematic language and attitudes? Hadn't I questioned it all and done the work? I realized there’s always more work to do and that I do need the people around me, especially my friends, to help me be better. And that’s OK. We can all learn and it’s important to keep an open and active mind. No one is born understanding everyone’s reality or every issue and you can’t be blamed for that. What you can get blamed for is for not listening and using your questioning mind. We are all part of an unequal world and in order to stop reproducing its problems we need to be in a state of constant reflection.