Adulting into awkwardness
April 17, 2025

In my first semester at Bowdoin, I learned a term in Intro to Sociology that still sticks with me: “breakdown in the definition of the situation.” Coined by Erving Goffman, it refers to moments when our usual social roles blur or collapse. Goffman saw social life as a performance. We shift between roles: student, friend, athlete, employee, functioning alcoholic. But at Bowdoin, those roles often collide in incredibly awkward ways. As we transition out of our teenage years and into the so-called “adult world,” it becomes clear that the gap between us and “real adults” is slimmer than expected. There’s not much separating us from the older population besides gray hairs and an unhealthy obsession with NPR.
Professors are the most common source of this chaos. Whether it’s witnessing your professor’s toddler have a full blown temper tantrum in the middle of Thorne or perhaps them spotting you out and about after receiving an email about how you couldn’t possibly make it to class due to the “severe illness” that mysteriously overtook you that morning, things can often feel a bit too personal.
Sometimes, the awkwardness is deliberate. Like when your professor casually polls the class: “What percentage of Bowdoin students are in relationships vs. how many want to be?” Nothing like some data-driven loneliness before 10 a.m.
My favorite genre of awkward, though, is “professor vs. technology.” Especially when they try to pull up a YouTube video and a politically charged ad plays, forcing a previously “neutral” professor to spiral in real time. Then there are the emails. The ones you send to the wrong person. Or worse—the ones you never meant to send at all.
Question addressed to student initially denied entry into class upon following conventional rules: “How did you end up getting into the class?”
Answer: “I had a draft on my phone that just said ‘plsplsplsplsplsplspls let me into your class.’ I accidentally sent it. He appreciated the honesty and let me in.”
Outside the classroom, the interactions only get more dynamic. Shoutout to the camera crew, who are always on a mission to capture the most diverse group at every event. They find almost as much satisfaction in that as my chem professor does in calling exams “Celebrations of Knowledge.” Then there’s Dinner with Six Strangers, where some conversations take unexpected turns.
Question addressed to student attendee at Dinner with Six Strangers: “What was one of the most memorable conversations you had during dinner?”
Answer: “The cleaning lady told us her daughter threw her a birthday party for her 60th which included a pizza delivery. We were all like ‘aww,’ and then she paused, and with the biggest smile on her face, added that the pizza guy was actually a stripper.”
Of course, not every moment of awkward laughter has to spiral into secondhand embarrassment. Some bring people together through a mix of shared humor, lightheartedness—and maybe a little fear. Take the case of pertussis, better known as “whooping cough,” which prompted a school-wide warning email.
Question asked to student with a highly contagious case of pertussis: “What was the most awkward part of that whole situation?”
Answer: “Probably when the school nurse confidently told me I wasn’t contagious at all … and then, mid-practice, my athletic trainer stormed into the pool area and yelled for me to get out in front of everyone. Later, the nurse apologized and rephrased her statement to: ‘Yeah … actually, you are very contagious!’”
But hey, he ended up swimming better at NESCACs after the forced rest. I’d call that a silver lining: character development via microbial threat.
These moments, whether funny, awkward or completely unhinged, crack open the idea that adulthood is some distant and polished destination. It’s not. It’s happening now, in fits and starts, in awkward dinners and accidental emails, with lots of moments we wish we could rewind. But it’s also where we find unexpected kindness, shared laughter and the quiet realization that none of us really know what we’re doing. We’re just adulting into awkwardness together.
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