Henry Abbott

With the first half of the spring semester behind us, the stream of never-ending midterms starts to mount nearly as much as the many rejections from summer internship applications appearing in your inbox. But not to worry! Because right at the crux of this stressful time, Bowdoin conveniently schedules consecutive weekends of incredible fun and, in equal measure, unfiltered awkwardness.

Welcome to this week’s column all about the awkwardness of Bowdoin traditions! In the spirit of spring (or more accurately, extended winter), I thought I’d spring into everything awkward about our beloved events.

The Spring Gala is the first event of the spring, and its main purpose is to reaffirm everyone’s belief that the pregame is always more fun than the party. The night begins with you getting all dressed up with your friends. You try on different outfits, have a few drinks, lighten up and, most importantly, lower your expectations for the night ahead. When you finally arrive at the Gala, you’re greeted by the harsh reality that there are two types of people: people who have a special someone and people who don’t. You begin to realize this when you spot intense bouts of PDA from the corner of your eye, like when the shy girl from your bio class has her everything wrapped around her situationship. The unsettling realization then hits that the only highlight of your night, apart from hanging out with your lovely group of friends, is watching balloons drop from the ceiling of Smith Union.

Question asked to eyewitness of intense PDA at the Spring Gala: “How did seeing all of that make you feel?”

Answer: “Happy to be single.”

Next up, the Spring Concert! The gym where Bowdoin’s women’s basketball team won their NESCAC championship is the same gym where Sean Kingston took his song “Beautiful Girls” quite literally when calling people up on stage. In fact, the energy was so high that even before NLE Choppa debuted his song “SLUT ME OUT 2,” human domino effect ensued with people toppling all over one another, faces flushed either with embarrassment or one too many shots.

Question asked to a “beautiful girl” who got called up on stage during Sean Kingston’s “Beautiful Girls”: “How beautiful did Sean Kingston make you feel up on stage?”

Answer: “I honestly don’t remember anything from that night, but looking back at the video, I’d say I was having a little too much fun.”

Lastly, the ever-anticipated Ivies Weekend. This weekend is a blur of darties, parties, drinking, more drinking and, most excitingly, the iconic photos with Randy. Despite being just an average weekend at Penn State (or any other big university), Ivies is hyped up all year long. People start planning early into the semester, scheming how they’ll pregame their Socrates and the Problem of History class, or better yet, their weekly shift at the local daycare. It’s the one weekend when we all forget we go to a small school in Southern Maine and get a taste of what the majority of college students experience on a weekly basis.

Question asked to a student intensely committed to the traditions of Ivies: “What is your favorite Ivies tradition?”

Answer: “Seeing how many times I can pre a pre.”

Although the spring semester is packed with events, the fall semester has its own set of unique traditions. There’s nothing that screams Bowdoin more than opening the year with Lobster Bake. Not only are you bound to see upperclassmen laughing a little too hard as they wobble around, but you’ll also see the real-life equivalent of guys proudly holding up their catch on Tinder—only this time, it’s a lobster, and they’re wearing collared shirts and plastic bibs. Then there’s Epicuria, where you’ll dance in the Park Row basement, sweating through the bedsheets you purchased from Target the morning of. Depending on how you style your bed sheet (or toga), you can resemble either a Greek god or a toilet paper roll. And if you really exercise those memory muscles and think back to O-trips, you might recall the shared confusion as you tried to do the “jellyfish” during the post-trip barbeque or the struggle to find a rose during your mandatory rose-bud-thorn debrief after discovering you’d been drinking water contaminated with E. coli.

As much as I enjoy shining a spotlight on the awkwardness of these moments, there’s no denying these events are what make Bowdoin so special. In a society that prioritizes productivity and hustle culture over simplicity and connection, it’s refreshing to have scheduled time to let loose, have fun and enjoy these moments with our friends. Before you know it, you’ll be scrolling through your camera roll, remembering the scramble to get your O-trip together for that Lobster Bake photo, the laughter shared during the brunch debrief after the Spring Concert or maybe even the sheer joy you felt at Ivies from being oh so high … on life.