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We all owe Megamind an apology

April 17, 2020

Let me set the scene. It’s early November in 2010. The squad and I are in my mom’s 1998 Subaru Outback, “California Gurls” by Katy Perry is bumping on the radio and I’m looking fly as hell in my jeggings. Our destination, you may ask? Oh, just to see the hottest movie to drop since “Up” released the year before. Yeah, that’s right: “Megamind.”

In the almost decade that has now passed since the release of “Megamind,” I feel as though we have forgotten the gift upon society that this movie is. It has everything you could ask for: a reformed sinner, a bald man with a soul patch, superheroes faking their death to pursue a career in country music … there’s truly something for everyone. Yet here we all are, a decade later, forgetting all about it. It’s unfathomable.

Now, I can be the bigger person here. I can acknowledge when I’m wrong, and, I’ll admit, I’m not without fault here. I was just one of millions of sheeple a mere week ago. This epic saga had somewhat slipped to the edge of my memory, summoned forth only after I spent hours staring at the ceiling of my childhood bedroom trying to conjure up any organic memory of the fourth grade (side note: I’m vaguely concerned that this was all I could come up with).

But, no matter. What’s important is that something took hold of me that afternoon. Maybe it was God. Maybe it was the spirit of Jonah Hill. Whatever it was, I can’t say for sure. All I know is that suddenly I was enlightened, and I know it is my duty to spread this truth now.

In case everyone forgot, “Megamind” lowkey has an all-star cast. I’m talking about Will Ferrell, Tina Fey, Jonah Hill, Brad Pitt, Ben Stiller and J.K. Simmons (!??!?!). Can you honestly ask for a line-up better than that? The answer is no, you can’t.

“Megamind” is great for a lot of reasons, but one of its best parts comes right at the start of the movie. Not even 10 minutes in, “Megamind” subversively exposes and examines class privilege while simultaneously humanizing prisoners. When booted off of their home planets, Megamind and his arch nemesis Metroman both land on Earth. Metroman lands in the home of a wealthy, elite family while Megamind literally lands in a prison. Metroman’s access to resources and opportunities as a member of the upper class allows him to rise to acclaim as a superhero (brilliant work here DreamWorks). Meanwhile, Megamind is lovingly raised by the prisoners in the jail where he landed, and although his initial motives are to fight good and do evil, this is simply due to being an outcast in society (yet another amazing commentary on the prison system and its alienating effects by DreamWorks. I love you queen <3).

Because I spent such an aggressive amount of time thinking about “Megamind” this week, I was reminded of an assortment of movies from my childhood that are unnecessarily slept on. Sorry if these are controversial! I frankly don’t want to hear it!

1. Camp Rock. Otherwise known as the lesser sister of High School Musical, “Camp Rock” is a seriously underrated masterpiece. My second grade self was CONVINCED that if only I was able to go to Camp Rock, Joe Jonas would fall in love with me, and I’d instantly become an international pop sensation. Clearly things didn’t go according to plan, but I harbor no resentment against this movie for instilling within me unrealistic expectations for the future that set me up as unable to acknowledge my own mediocrity :). 4/5 stars

2. The Twilight Franchise. I’m about to get so much hate for this so let me begin by making a few concessions. First of all, these are only good if you’ve read the books. I had the whole series downloaded on my Nook in fifth grade (why no one bullied me for this I’ll never know) and was so invested in the series it’s not even funny (I was a hardcore team Jacob fan. If you were/are team Edward, that’s disgusting). Unfortunately, my Nook charger has been lost to time, so I am no longer able to access these books for better or worse. Now whether or not this franchise was detrimental to my understanding of a healthy relationship is another story, and I’m 80 percent sure none of the books pass the Bechdel Test, but that’s besides the point. The first movie is pretty trash, I’ll be the first to admit that, but beyond that? Not bad. I can STILL hear the screams from when I saw “Breaking Dawn: Part 2” in theaters and the fight scene came on…iykyk. 3.5/5 stars

3. Tangled. This is still one of my favorite movies PERIOD. Such few Disney movies have the range this film does, and I honestly don’t think there is any other cinematic universe I want to live in more. The village montage makes me feel emotions I don’t have names for. “I See the Light” has been on my crying playlist for years. Flynn Ryder’s character arc is genuinely touching. I don’t even have anything negative to say, this movie is pure gold through and through. 5/5 stars

4. Bridge to Terabithia. F*** this movie. 0/5 stars

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One comment:

  1. Audrey '23 says:

    Dude what do you have against Bridge to Terabithia????!!


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