Men's rugby demolishes Plymouth State
The boys in black were ready for action last Saturday. While the rest
of Bowdoin partied Friday night away with cheap beer and cheesy music,
the men of Bowdoin's rugby football club spent the evening in prayer and
silent reflection, readying themselves for the ensuing contest of will.
After a harrowing three-hour journey through the Deliverance-esque hinterland
of New Hampshire, the Bears poured out of their minivans onto the field,
ready for a brutal struggle. Plymouth State is famed throughout New England
for their undisciplined and intensely physical pack, but the Bear ruggers
First-year sensation Nick Reid, renowned for his frosty locks and enormous
popularity amongst Bowdoin's fairer half, captured the mood accurately.
"We're going to show these boys why we're winning the championship
this year," he said.
"Sure, they may be bigger, but they're sloppier than a social house
campus-wide. I've personally fought kangaroos twice my size and they limped
back to the outback hurting. These guys don't have any idea what's in
store for them."
The game's opening blows were convincingly delivered by Bowdoin's forward
pack. Dave MacDonald '03, without a doubt the fastest member of the pack,
teamed up with Tim Yanni-Lazuras to blow the Plymouth lads off of the
first ruck of the game.
Yanni described the source of his amazing fire in those opening minutes.
"I imagined that each of my opponents was bothering my little sister.
Nothing puts me in the mood for combat like imagining that someone is
after my poor, sweet, innocent little sister. That's why I made them bleed."
After five minutes of play, the boys in black had already scored their
first try of the game. This completely demoralized the Plymouth State
lads, who were actually seen cat-fighting amongst themselves over who
was responsible for such inadequate play.
The star back of the match turned out to be junior Dennis Kiley. Scoring
four times, this Adonis-turned-Hercules bent the Plymouth State backs
over with every hit.
Head Coach Rick Scala was delighted by Kiley's performance. "I'm
amazed that Dennis rose to the occasion. None of us were expecting him
to perform with his usual level of vigor today [after suffering a potentially
lethal injury in pre-season], but he gave it his all out there,"
he said. "That's why I love the kid, he sacrifices himself for the
Kiley was not alone in the try-zone. Sophomore Antonio "Focus"
Avecedo, whose gangly and ungainly appearance has deceived many a defender,
joined him there twice. Senior Mike "Doza" Carlson displayed
a "quickness" reminiscent of his younger days with a convincing
Club President Rob "Capt. Brown Star" Mandle'02, cape in hand,
managed a ninety-meter streak through the Plymouth defenders to score
a try. All in all, over sixty-six points were scored by the back row.
"This field is ours," said scrum half Matthew Stanton '02.
"I can't describe the feeling. It's like being born again."
The dynamic duo of Aryeh "Flabio" Jasper and his kid brother
Andy Keshner were a force to be reckoned with as well. While Keshner,
aka "Half-Aryeh," did bring some excellent hits, the real damage
was done when Flabio doffed his shirt mid-way through the contest, blinding
almost a dozen Plymouth ruggers.
Bear casualties this week were light. The only significant loss was senior
Hugh "Hank" Hill, felled in the final minutes of the game, who
lost his left arm to an embittered (and hungry) Plymouth forward. The
team panegyrist is recovering well in the Maine Medical ICU, aided in
his recovery by a well-qualified nursing staff.
This Saturday's match will be no walkover. The ruggers face the University
of Maine-Orono, a large and brutal force to be reckoned with.
Forward captain Billy Soares, in the process of working himself into
his usual frenzy for the game, had this to say: "Yes, they were our
only loss last year, but this year we're going to beat them.
"They lack all of the things we do well. We're disciplined; they're
in shambles. We're hard and in-shape; they'll be sucking air mid-way through
the first half. We're champions; they're not," he said.
The men should be bolstered by the return of junior Jed "Rambo"
Miller and sophomores Warren Dubitsky and Will Stetler. Rambo, who was
out last week with four broken fingernails and innumerable split-ends
(as well as a light concussion), promises to bring "intense pain"
to the Orono backs. Dubitsky vows "at least three concussions"
amongst their forwards this Saturday.
In closing, the words of senior Nathaniel "Crabs" Wolfe capture
it best. "We will do anything for victory. Heck, we'd even paint
our toenails," he said. "That's why we're going to win. Not
only because we're better, but we want it more than anyone in the league."
Watch the ruggers "trample the weak and hurdle the dead tomorrow,"
as they continue their championship season behind Farley at 10:00 A.M.