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Volume CXXXIII, Number 2 |
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Orient newsflash! Sports editor and
Air Jordan plan comeback together
J.P. BOX
Assistant Sports Editor
His Airness has all but proclaimed his comeback. After months of testing
his body and his game against NBA players, Michael Jordan hinted on September
10 that he would return this season as a Washington Wizard because of
his “love for the game.” Although his knee was recently bothering
him, it is evidently no longer an issue.
Earlier this week, I played in a couple of pick-up games with Brunswick
high school students to test my game and my old body. I left the games
with a strained lower left back, sore left buttocks from falling on my
behind, and a pulled left groin from trying to run a lot.
Like Jordan, I also have decided to hold the intramural basketball world
in suspense over whether or not I will return for the 3-on-3 season. Although
the press conference will not be held for a few more days, I love the
game still and will most likely be back—but I’m not saying for
sure yet.
After my pick-up games, it dawned on me that there are many more similarities
between the sixtime world champion and me. Honestly.
In high school, Jordan was cut from the varsity basketball squad only
to come back the next year and prove that he was the best player in all
of North Carolina. I too was made to play JV during my sophomore year
only to make varsity as a senior and prove myself to be the best player
in the state of Colorado...at my position at least...in the Metro League...on
my team.
And the similarities continue to roll out from our humble beginnings.
Early in his career, Jordan relied heavily on his driving to the hoop
to make up for his sub-par shooting ability. I too must score all of my
points within five feet of the basket, primarily because I have yet to
develop that deadly jumper...or any jumper, really.
Jordan also made a name for himself as the best finisher in the game
by routinely dunking over seven footers and floating under the basket
for reverses. Recently, I just finished a game of Monopoly and won, thanks
to my hotels on Park Place and Boardwalk.
MJ can embarrass an opponent with a quick drive to the hoop, or he can
pull up and knock down a fade-away jumper. Often, I too drive my opponents
crazy with my taunts begging them to shoot the jumper because I am too
tired to stop them from driving. I also have pulled up next to my stereo
and listened to the Rolling Stones’ “Fade Away.” Good tune.
His Airness is also repudiated as one of the all time greats in NBA history by claiming numerous MVP awards, scoring titles, and NBA Championships.
OK, I guess he has me there.
How about this one—MJ tried to be a major league baseball player,
and thus followed his heart to play the game that he loved since childhood.
In third grade, I knew that I was going to play outside linebacker for
the Denver Broncos. Like Jordan, I was not cut out to play the game that
I loved—largely because I am not cut or still in third grade where
everyone weighs 40 pounds—not 340 pounds. Instead, I followed my
heart elsewhere—to Bowdoin College where I consistently perform at
a high level, in intramural basketball. B league, of course.
And then there is the obvious—the names. Michael Jordan and J.P.
Box. While at first they do not appear to be very similar, keep this in
mind: my little brother’s name is Michael. Coincidence or fate? You
be the judge.
While by now the similarities appear to be overwhelming, I am sure that
there are still some of you who don’t regard these eerie parallels
with any sense of amazement or awe. Others of you must be convinced that
Mike and I are one and the same. Thank you, Bowdoin, for teaching me so
wonderfully how to prove virtually any thesis.
Coming up next week: Why Marge Schott is actually a babe.