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Volume CXXXIII, Number 1 |
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How to crush the Sox curse
J.P. BOX
Assistant Sports Editor
The Boston Red Sox opened the month of September seven games behind the vaunted New York Yankees in the divisional race and seven games behind the Oakland Athletics in the wild card race. Barring an act from the man Himself, the Sox season story will go as follows: this was going to be the year we finally won and beat the damn Yankees, but alas the Curse!
The Curse originated in the times when baseball players weren't millionaires and power hitters didn't use steroids, Creatine, or Andro. Instead, players had cleats made with rusty nails and mitts resembling gardenning gloves. Needless to say, it was ages ago.
When Babe Ruth, the game's greatest player was sold to the Yankees (not even traded) to finance a play, the baseball gods, according to legend, eternally cursed the Red Sox. Thus, the fabled Boston Red Sox will never win a championship for the rest of their years.
The baseball gods did not stop here, however. They put an enthusiasm and love for the game unparalleled into every Boston Red Sox's fan. Over the years, fans have cried for joy rarely and cried out of sorrow often because of Bill Buckner blunders and other lost seasons.
Bosox fans everywhere, you know what? Stop blaming the stupid curse and move on. It's a fairy tale and nothing else. A Crutch, not a Curse. A reason to lose, not a reason to love the game. Eventhough the Curse is a mere social construction, it is very much real in the hearts of baseball fans everywhere.
But, it can be broken. Below is a blueprint for success so that the Red Sox can reach the promised land and forever free themselves from the self-imposed chains.
Solution #1 - Move the team. I hear the weather is nice in California. How about the Sacramento Red "Surfer" Sox? Seriously though, sometimes a change of venue is exactly what a team needs to win a championship. It worked for the Colorado Avalanche (formely Quebec Nordiques), Dallas Stars (formerly Winnipeg Jets), Baltimore Ravens (formely Clevland Browns), and almost worked for the Tennessee Titans (formely the Houston Oilers). If nothing else, it won't hurt their chances of winning.
Solution #2 - If you feel strongly against the Bosox becoming the Sasox, how about a uniform change? And not just some tweak here or there. I'm talking about a drastic departure from their traditional unis. How about puke green with neon lime pinstripes and magenta red letters? At least that way, the players, fans, and organization will stop whining about the Curse and lament the ugly unis. The Curse will slowly be forgotten and the Sox will win a championship. Again, a change of uniforms worked for the Denver Broncos and St. Louis Rams in football. Why not in baseball?
Solution #3 - Trade your best player, Pedro Martinez. He's a great pitcher, but the dude is too small to shoulder the wear and tear of a long, demanding season. He simply is not built to be a starter. Make him the highest paid closer in the league or trade him away for a ship load of prospects and an average veteran starting pitcher. Build for the future - after all, Manny will be around for 160 million dollars worth of years.
Solution #4 - Don't change a thing. Look to the tradition of great
players, near victories, and the Curse. Hope every year that the Sox will
break it, and cry when they don't. But hey, what fun would it be if the
Sox won as many World Series as the Yankees? Being a Red Sox fan
wouldn't be a selfless act of love, but instead would be as indulgent
as being a Yankees fan.
But then again, I am a Colorado Rockies fan, so what do I know about
baseball or, tradition?