Time passes differently for first years here at Bowdoin. We feel like we just got on campus, and yet we also feel like we’ve been here forever. I, for one, can’t believe we are halfway through first semester. I thought we would all be ecstatic at this point, thrilled that we have made it this far without any major mishaps. My parents, for example, are shocked that I am not the socially awkward anomaly they thought I would be. However, the halfway point also brings midterms and, needless to say, a lot of us are freaking out.
You would think that we would have a little more self-confidence. We aced our SATs, we managed to get into this place, and aren’t we all the special and unique little snowflakes that the school promised us we were? Yet, as I walk the campus I hear disturbing cries ranging from “I have no idea what is going on in my bio class” to “It’s 25 percent of my grade!” to the simple “I am screwed.”
Yes, I’m sad to report that many first years doubt their abilities, and, though some of us are fine and dandy, too many people are starting to question their place at Bowdoin. A lot of us were used to being at the top of our class in high school so it’s natural that many find it strange to be in an environment where everyone is working hard and where receiving a high mark actually takes work.
It’s difficult for the big fish in the small pond to move to the ocean (or maybe in our case, a classier small pond with more big fish). When the former “straight-A student” stares at that B- they got on their last seminar paper in disbelief, it’s as if they can’t understand what’s happening. In fact, the stages of receiving one’s first B- or C are extremely similar to the Kübler-Ross model, otherwise known as the five stages of grief.
Stage 1: Denial. I’ve noticed when a first year gets back her first paper, she tends to refute it entirely. “Clearly, the professor has made a mistake” she says. “ I will just go talk to them about it and we can clear this whole thing up.” Reality has no place in this stage and such a student is prone to reject facts around them. She may end up saying something else crazy like, “Glee is a great show,” for example.
Stage 2: Anger. After realizing that no mistake was made, this person becomes extremely angry. If you have a friend in this stage you might hear something along the lines of, “My professor is so annoying. This grade isn’t even fair. He wasn’t clear about the assignment!” Try to stay away from people when they reach this phase. Anger spreads like the flu and you don’t want it ruining your day.
Stage 3: Bargaining. In this stage a person might utter something along the lines of, “I would never go to Super Snack again if my professor would just raise this a letter.” At this point one is under the delusion that if he does a good deed, karma will miraculously raise his grade. Now is time to flock back to these friends and take advantage of them. Ask them for free stuff and any favors you may have.
Stage 4: Depression. Soon after bargaining students fall under a deep depression. They will make bold statements such as, “I’m an idiot” or “No one understands anything I do.” These people may even stop showering, so if your roommate’s in this stage, invest in some Febreze. Overall, I would recommend letting the depressed person be for a while. After some serious self-reflecting, they’ll be okay. We must remember that this stage is only natural.
Stage 5: Acceptance. Eventually, students will come to terms with their grades. At this point many move on with their lives and the crisis will be averted. Feel free to break out the party hats and rejoice.
Unfortunately, too few of us have gotten to that celebration point. Some are still in denial, several are angry, not enough are bargaining, and a strange number is listening to emo music. As a result, a lot of first years are going into midterms feeling unsure about their abilities. So, if you’re a first year and you feel this way, here are some tips:
For one thing, calm down. Remember it’s just a grade, and one should not be going through the five stages of grief over something so trivial. For another, Bowdoin wasn’t wrong. We are all awesome little snowflakes. We’re supposed to be here, it just takes time to find one’s footing. And lastly, calm down. Sometimes you end up learning much bigger and more important lessons from a lower grade anyway.
Stage 5 is inevitable, so might as well hurry up and get there. That way tackling those pesky midterms, whether they are ahead or behind you, will be no problem.